A break in the clouds

Years of accumulating things I cannot live without have caused each journey into my 6 x 8 aluminum shed to be a laborious affair. I basically have two piles of stuff and inevitably the thing I want is at the bottom of the largest pile.

Somehow, I've got Sawyer's four-wheeler, my lawnmower, a fertilizer spreader, golf clubs (that I haven't used in 6 years), an old window A/C unit, two full-sized coolers, a little red wagon, an above-ground pool, an a host of other things perfectly balanced inside that little metal box with doors that groan each time I close them.

Finally, after moving things for the thousandth time, I decided that I HAD to have a new and larger shed. So, Sawyer and I made the trip to Home Depot and explored the little shed village they had on the outskirts of the parking lot. While I found the numerous options a little overwhelming, Sawyer had a great time. To him, it was an adventure of discovery. He really liked the two level shed that could compete with many homes, even in the United States. Once, he found 6 pennies, neatly stacked, on the upper floor. Since then, we can't go to Home Depot without a visit to the second floor of the mega-shed. Occasionally, I'll secretly lay a few pennies in the corner for Sawyer to find. It keeps things interesting.

After looking at Home Depot, I decided to pay a visit to Lowe's. Both were way out of my price range and the sheds were either a little too small or a little too big and they were built with staple guns and cardboard. Like Baby Bear, I wanted one that was just right.

So, I decided to build my own. Nevermind that I have absolutely no experience in building anything larger than bookshelves, I had made up my mind.

I surfed the internet for ideas, instructions, plans, anything. Oddly, everyone seemed to want money for their ideas. Usually, the internet provides much more free stuff for the taking. Problem was that even the books that were supposed to show you how to DIY were either too techie or not detailed enough.

Finally, I found the best one out there at Barnes & Noble.

So, a couple of months ago, I began my project.

I went to Home Depot to get enough lumber just to do the floor. I figured that would be the logical place to start. While browsing the lumber section, I was approached by a middle-aged man who whispered "Hey, ya looking to build something?" in a voice that strangely resembled the hook of a drug pusher. I answered in the affirmative and he told me he could sell me all the wood I'd need for my shed at half the price of the Depot. I could just follow him to his warehouse right down the street. Against the advice of the voice in my head screaming "too good to be true", I got in my little Isuzu truck and followed him.

On the way there, I considered calling my wife on the cellphone just in case he bonked me on the head and left me for dead. But I didn't. When we got there, he opened a large garage door and before my eyes was an amazing amount of lumber in a fairly small space.

"We'll have to move this stuff to get what you need" he said. So, we started shifting wood from one place to another and I was reminded of why I wanted to build a new shed in the first place.

He knew exactly what I'd need to build the shed and started calling off each size and amount of lumber, plywood, shingles and other stuff that I'd need and finding them in his "warehouse". At one point, he asked me if I'd bend over and read a label on a piece of plywood near my feet. This required me to get into a very vulnerable position. I kept one eye cocked on him the whole time thinking, "This is it. This is where he swings the hammer into my skull."

He didn't and I ended up with one hell of a deal. About $750 in supplies for $300.

In fact, save a couple of 2 x 4's, I had all the materials I'd need for the entire shed.

This also meant, however, that now I HAD to complete this project in a pretty fast measure. The materials ended up as a massive mountain on my deck and any idiot can tell you that leaving expensive lumber out in the elements for extended periods of time is not so smart.

So, I got home and began the work. For the next several weeks, I worked like madman. I learned framing, roofing, hammering techniques, and how to shake my thumb like a madman after hammering it, instead of the nail, for the third time in 2 minutes. It has been an unseasonably cold winter so most of my work was done in 20-30 degree weather. Even more daunting, it's been in shadow-producing halogen lighting.

I'm glad to say, the shed is now complete. I build the whole thing without ANY help. Strike that--on two separate occasions, Pam held a board while I nailed it. That's it.

The most comical moment was when I hammered my thumb, slammed the hammer onto the top of the ladder, ripped off my glove and sucked on my throbbing thumb, then fell from the ladder onto the ground. Naturally, the hammer waited until I was safely on the ground before falling from the place it was hovering in mid-air onto my unprotected head. Even though my head and my thumb hurt like fire, the exhiliration from living through the experience made me laugh like a madman as I lay on the frozen ground.

Anyway, I spent last night patting myself on the back for accomplishing something I never seriously thought I could. I just stood there looking around and even felt mildly disappointed that my work was complete. Then, I remembered with a mild dose of glee, that my shed needs new shelves!