letting go

I'll throw away the crutches.
They just keep me angry.
I've waited for payback forever.
They owe me for what they did.
Now, I realize,
That debt won't be repaid.
It is impossible for them to repay it.

I won't let them control my life
until it is over.
I have a choice.
I can be free.
The explanations of what they did
have turned into excuses
or justifications
for what I do.

I thought if I kept it burning
it would make me strong
but it has really weakened me,
When I explode, the shrapnel
of my hate
hits everyone else,
everyone I love.

Today, I let it go--
This Monster inside me.
No more power for the ones who hurt me.
Today I throw my crutches down
and walk away.