Don't look away

When my son was just 3 months old, he was diagnosed with plagiocephaly. Basically, one side of his head was abnormally flat because he preferred to sleep on one side.

We visited a specialist at a Winston-Salem hospital to find out how to correct the problem.

While waiting in the doctor's office, I noticed many small children who had facial disformities. Some were worse than others.

It was hard to look at these children. My natural instinct was to turn away. I felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to say.

In order to correct Sawyer's problem, he was required to wear a helmet at all times for 6 weeks.

Before his head grew flat, Sawyer became accustomed to the attention he received from strangers we would encounter while we were out and about. The people we'd encounter would ooh and ahh over him, tell him how cute he was, and talk baby-talk with him.

After he started wearing his helmet, we would still go out to the same places. But people would shy away from approaching Sawyer. They were like me in the visiting room. They didn't know what to say. They felt uncomfortable. So they didn't say anything. They looked away. They avoided eye contact with us, his parents.

I could tell that Sawyer didn't understand. I could tell he missed the attention. I missed the light in his eyes that came from being adored. It hurt me deep in my heart for my son.

All of this taught me a powerful lesson.

All children and people, whether they are beautiful and able, or scarred and disabled, like to be loved.

After my experience with Sawyer, I've made a special point to notice children who are handicapped or have a physical ailment. Instead of following my natural instinct to turn away, I approach these kids and their parents and make a special point to lavish praise and adoration on them. No matter what the ailment, I can always find something beautiful to be praised.

My first test came with a little girl in the mall who was a quadriplegic. She sat in a specially designed chair. She could not move in anyway. She couldn't speak or smile. But she was absolutely beautiful.

I approached her and remarked to her and her mom about how pretty she was and how cute her outfit was. She couldn't respond but her eyes lit up with happiness. Her mother and I spoke for several minutes about how sweet this little girl was in front of the little girl. I could tell it meant as much to her mom as it did to the little girl. It was like 100 pounds was lifted from her shoulders, and mine.

All children are beautiful and loved in God's eyes, and it should be no less for us.

I have had many similar encounters since that one and each time I've made the effort to pay special attention, it has been a rewarding experience. I could actually see the pride and confidence grow in the child and their parents and siblings. For that one moment, they felt loved and appreciated.

It's really amazing the power we have to make people feel good if we only have the courage to try.