Lordy Lordy

Man, it has been FOREVER since I posted anything here. Or feels like it anyway.

So what am I gonna write about today? Not much. And who cares? Nobody reads this crap anyway. I kinda like it that way.

I'm in my 12th year of my current job, 11th year of my marriage, and 11th year as a dad. Of some sort, anyway.

I'm enjoying the last couple of years with my youngest son before he gets all sarcastic, jaded and mean--as all people do when they reach a certain age. That last part, I'm sure I will contribute to in large part because that's just part of fatherhood, isn't it?

You love your kids to death, but the testosterone and the expectations of fatherhood (always playing by the rules, setting a good example, being right 100% of the time, and also being some sort of god-like superhero that shines above all other men on the planet) are totally unrealistic. And when the kids realize that, then they start to question everything else as well. You mean you LIED about Santa Claus?

Parenting is the toughest job on the planet. The presidency has nothing on me, baby! At least if you're trying (not succeeding, mind you) to be a good parent, it is. And if you're thinking that maybe one day you're gonna have some kids and it's gonna be all carousels and lollipops and patting the boy on top of the head with love, HA HA HA HA HA! Think again. You will fail and fail and fail. But did I say it is the most rewarding job on the planet? It is. Because you'll find love there that you won't get anywhere else. At least part of the time.

At other times you'll be the most despised, villainous meanie around.

Think about what you loved from when you were young. Your fondest memories.

For me, it was playing with my dog, wandering the woods and creating imaginary worlds in my head, wrestling and laughing with my father, riding a bike, swimming to the bottom of the pool.
With a kid, you get to experience all that again in a new way. It's awesome because you get to relive your youth and remember parts you had forgotten. You won't have the energy that you did when you were a kid and the joy of reliving that childhood will push you to the brink of exhaustion, back pain, and irritability. But it's worth it....reallly.

But then there are the things about childhood that sucked. Like homework. Guess what? As a good parent, you get to go through elementary and high school all over again. You have to relearn what a predicate is and all kinds of math you'll never use. Even worse, they've changed all the names and rules in subjects. They've come up with cutesy names like: number sentences and time triangles, and sight words.

And then there's the things, that as a kid, you were totally unaware of. Like when you were in the cub scouts and had fun camping and playing with your little buddies. You didn't realize that your dad had to sit on some boring board or plan events or go out and buy all those patches and equipment and uniforms and books. That he had to stay up late detailing your little wood car so it wouldn't come apart on race day. Then there's selling all the fund-raising stuff at inflated prices to his friends and family to finance the scouts. Funny thing is that he has no clue as to what he is financing because every one of your activities has come out of his wallet. You don't know how disheartening it is, after all of that work he put in so that you would have a good time and a fun memory, when you lay on the floor in a seizure-like tantrum whining that you don't want to go to the den meeting tonight because you're trying to get to level 28 on the nintendo. As a dad, you realize all these things because you've done them all in love with no thanks at all.

But it's all worth it. On those days, when you see the sacrifice you make for the kids you love, you'll finally realize the love your parent had for you. You were just too self-engrossed to realize it at the time.

They say as a parent that you shouldn't be your kid's friend. That's the biggest bunch of BS ever. Being a playmate, a confidante, a buddy, and a friend to your kid is the most rewarding part of all. Sure, there's that little thing called discipline. But that's why they have moms, isn't it?